So my 22-year-old niece told me recently that obviously I would be bedridden by eighty. Ah, the untold joys of chatting with the young.
So, to be clear about this, I fully intend on being vertical at 80. Vertical while dancing, vertical while cooking my beloved pasta dishes, vertical while sipping a glass of wine on my hotel room terrace. You get the idea.
That said, I did a little quick research on the horizontal opportunities after eighty (after I stopped laughing). And I am guessing you may know where this is going.
As it turns out — which I quite happily reported to my niece — the horizontal opportunities for an eighty-year-old woman in bed are pretty damn good.
Yes, I am indeed referring to sex, not upcoming series on Netflix.
First, what I already knew (and I suspect many of you know too): age doesn't make women less sexual. It makes us better at it. We know our bodies. We know what feels good. Even more importantly, we are more than willing to tell our partner what makes us feel good — and what, although an admirable effort, just isn't working for us. I don't know the experience of every woman out there, but I at least can report that youthful fumblings were just that — fumbles.
Studies show that many women in their twenties struggle to orgasm consistently, while women in their 70s and 80s — those who are still sexually active — report high levels of satisfaction and pleasure. Turns out confidence, self-knowledge, and comfort in your own skin are powerful aphrodisiacs.
So no, I don't plan on being bedridden at 80. But things do happen. If being "in bed" means relaxed, experienced, fully aware of what I enjoy and comfortable telling my partner what those things are — well, bed isn't such a bad thing.
Aging isn't losing your sexuality.
It's losing the need to fake it.